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10 Things to Consider when Separating
Brian S. Demidovich
10 Things that We want You to Know First when Considering Separation.
1. Get Some Counseling, Marriage or Otherwise
Counseling is always a good starting point to establish if you are certain that you want or need to separate. There are times when couples are unhappy together but don’t really want to take that final step and separate. You need to be sure that the relationship has suffered an irretrievable breakdown before you can begin to consider the emotional and financial changes, the change in living arrangements, property and what happens to any children under 18 years old.
Once the separation process begins it can be very hard to go back to a happy and stable relationship. Counseling can be helpful, even if attended on your own, to help you deal with the separation even after the decision has been made to separate.
2. Where are the Kids Going to Live?
When parents separate, the children’s best interests are paramount. The parents need to come up with a custody schedule that maintains a relationship with both parents. Often this is easier said than done while in the midst of separating. Parents should attempt to put their emotions relating to the separation aside for the benefit of the children. Try and involve someone you both trust to facilitate communication regarding the children.
3. Decide about Your Living Arrangements
Unless you are being abused, never leave the marital home without consulting an experienced family law attorney. When deciding who stays in the home and who goes, it is important to think about your long-term goals. If you want to continue living in the home so that there is less disruption for the children, but are concerned that you cannot pay the monthly expenses on your own, then you may be able to require your partner to contribute to your shortfall. If you decide to leave the home, then this may be fine too as the law will recognize your legal rights to the home and the household furnishings.
4. Furniture and Personal Effects
If you decide to leave the family home, it is advisable to take everything you need by way of furniture, appliances, clothes, jewelry etc. Generally, the Courts will consider all belongings to be jointly owned and therefore movable by either person. If you don’t take items with you that you really want, then you risk your partner taking them or refusing that you have them. Equally, if you’re the person who’s staying, you are allowed to change the locks after the spouse vacates and shows no intent to return, to prevent the departing spouse from gaining re-entry – even if the house is in joint names.
5. Get All Legal and Financial Documents Sorted
It is very important that you know where you stand in terms of the financial assets and liabilities of your relationship. You need to know what your partner’s financial position is as well as yours so that you can make informed decisions moving forward. Important legal and financial documents include your tax returns, bank statements, investment accounts, insurance documents, passport, driving license, , birth / marriage certificate etc.
6. Open Your Own Bank Account
Where there are joint bank accounts both you and your partner could remove all the funds or a portion of the funds from the account. If you have decided to leave the home, then you will need the money to assist you with moving. Equally if you are going to remain in the home then you will need the money to help with costs of running the home. Often times one half of the money or more is moved by one of the spouses before either meet with an attorney.
7. Check Your Life Insurance and Death Benefits
If you have nominated your partner as a beneficiary of any of these, you may want to change this immediately. Where possible we suggest that you take all necessary steps to ensure any such benefits pass to your estate or your children in the event of your death.
8. Update/Make a Will and Lasting Power of Attorney
It is important to understand that separation does not change gifts in a Will. So if your Will says “I appoint my partner as my executor and give all my estate to my partner” and you die, then your partner (or ex-partner) will have the ability to make decisions about your estate and receive everything.
9. Notify Benefits and Child Support Agency
If you are receiving any state Benefit payments, you need to notify any and government departments of your change in relationship status as you will obviously be dealt with differently as a single person. The same applies with the Child Support Agency, if you have children, as the Agency’s role is to collect payments from the non-residential partner to pay the residential partner on a means and needs basis.
10. Get Professional Legal Advice
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Need Help with What to do Following Your Separation? We serve clients in Wake, Durham, and Johnston County North Carolina who are facing a range of legal matters, including Divorce. Domestic Violence. Estate Planning. Legal Separation. Child Custody. Child Support. Visitation Rights. Wills. Alimony/Spousal Support. Contact Us Today!
Need Help with Mediation Vs Arbitration? We serve clients in Wake, Durham, and Johnston County North Carolina who are facing a range of legal matters, including Divorce. Domestic Violence. Estate Planning. Legal Separation. Child Custody. Child Support. Visitation Rights. Wills. Alimony/Spousal Support. Contact Us Today!
Need Help with Co-Parenting and Summer Fun? We serve clients in Wake, Durham, and Johnston County North Carolina who are facing a range of legal matters, including Divorce. Domestic Violence. Estate Planning. Legal Separation. Child Custody. Child Support. Visitation Rights. Wills. Alimony/Spousal Support. Contact Us Today!
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